The harderst decision I ever had to make

After applying to seven graduate schools, being denied from my number one reach school, I had it narrowed down to my new top two choices, Florida State and Colorado.

I went to FSU's open house and I was impressed.  I already knew a lot about the program because I go to school here but I left thinking that it was my school for sure- it was a done deal, that's where I was going.  I applied for the TIES grant, which would pay for 9 credit hours and give me a $4000 stipend.

The next weekend, I flew out to Boulder with my dad to look at Colorado.  I was immediately blown away with how beautiful the school was and the active lifestyle.  I attended their open house, heard about all the opportunities they offer through their clinic and due to their close proximity to Denver.  I saw their clinic which is a lot like FSU's old clinic and no where close to FSU's new clinic.  I looked at their tuition and wanted to cry. It was so expensive.  I told myself that if I got the TIES scholarship, then I would have to go to FSU- I wouldn't be able to justify not going there.

The next two days, my dad and I went skiing and hiking.  The weather was absolutely perfect and I fell more and more in love with Boulder.  In the back of my mind, I kept thinking what a great offer I might be getting from FSU.

My dad and I were sitting in the airport and he was on the phone with my mom telling her what a great time we had when I received an email from FSU telling me I had received the TIES grant. And I cried. And felt like a spoiled brat.  Here I was with this great offer from a great school when all I wanted was to stay in Boulder.

I then told myslef that if Boulder could offer me something, then it was a sign that that was where I was  supposed to be.

I emailed the director of the clinic who I met at the open house and explained to her my situation on Monday.  I cried because I didn't know what to do.

Tuesday there was a snow storm in Boulder and I didn't receive a response. I cried some more.  I prayed. I asked Logan, my mom, my dad what I should do. I kept crying.

Wednesday, the director at Boulder asked me to call her.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  I was so nervous.  I called her and she offered me a TA position for the fall and spring as well as a scholarship.  I cried some more.  What was I supposed to do? Now that I had two great options with funding, which one was the right option? Why had God provided for me at both schools?

Thursday, I woke up crying.  Seriously, I have never cried so much.  I was so stressed. I called my mom and I was worried because both schools were so even in my mind academically and socially. I met up with my friend Cassy before class and she asked me the golden question, "which one would you regret not going to more?"  I knew I had my answer.

I called my mom and dad, texted Logan and my sister. My decision had finally been made.  I am going to The University of Colorado, Boulder for graduate school.

I am excited with my decision, I am confident with my decision, and I know God put Colorado on my mind and provided for me to go there because it's where I am meant to be. Some days, I am still a little sad because I will miss having my best friends close, my wyldlife girls near me, going to Nole games, beign 2 hours away from home, the YL community and my church.  But I know Colorado is the place for me.  There are so many more opportunties there for me and what I want to do with speech therapy. The experience of living with seasons excites me.  The active lifesyle is one I have always pictured myself living.  So although I made the hardest decision this far, I am excited. Colorado, here I come.